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Monday, February 21, 2022

A Poem of Thought

  What I Did To Myself


Blaming the other rather than oneself
I have often done throughout my life
Lord help me through what I did to myself

I've not noticed the position itself
That I placed on us causing strife
Blaming the other rather than oneself

Realizing what I've done to ourself
Knowing it's affecting my afterlife
Lord help me through what I did to myself

All I could see was me being right
In trying to remain with you strong
Going on in that situation of plight

For in the situation I thought I belong
Giving the other my essence of
Knowing to this my fault all along

Gave the other my life a place thereof
Blaming the other rather than oneself
Knowing, in this I pray to God above
Lord help me through what I did to myself
      ©Doris Elaine

Thoughts: It's real easy to put the blame on the other when a situation turns sour. I know I've done this sometimes throughout my life. Life is hard and letting people into your life is even harder in today's techno society where fakeness and scamming has become rapid. Heck, it's even hard face to face to make a true honest connection due today's society of "me". In making these connections one may be in a mode of fantasy without even realizing it until feelings are involved and one becomes hurt. In these situations, it is easy to say it's the other person's fault and/or in blaming the other person, as well. When most times the other person already knows his or her place in the connection ahead of time; especially if they are only playing or pretending. I've learned in one giving themself totally in the beginning one is more vulnerable to being played and getting hurt. If one goes into the situation doing this allowing one's emotion to get involved, thus fantasying the situation, one is more likely to get hurt. Then how is the other person to be totally blamed when one gave the other permission into one's life and to use this vulnerability in playing one's emotions? At some point, one has to realize, "Well, I let them into my vulnerable place"; thus, as a mature person see some of the responsibility is one's own fault. Now, I am not talking about long term heinous crimes or crimes of stature at all. Merely saying, if you let someone into your life be prepared they may already have an idea of their intended involvement. And, if you are willing to give them that vulnerable place in your life, to be prepared the other may use that for their own ill purpose and to not blame the other in allowing that person into your life. With me, I don't really care about people knowing my life as it is about to be out in book form any way as a testimony to God as He helped me through some bad choices and hard roads. However, as you will read in my book-to be out soon-I have let others into my life in a vulnerable manner. But now realize, it's doesn't matter. And, even thou my emotions gave way to hurt in that vulnerable state, I know to a certain extent I did that to myself and can only say now, Lord help me through what I did to myself. 

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